leisure 04.12.04

Hump Day

These sites will help you pass the time while you should be working.

Name That Candy Bar Cross Section
A brain teaser Homer Simpson could love. We only got one right: the Snickers bar.

Disturbing Auctions
200 freeze-dried pork chops, a Dean Martin hand puppet, and a rhinestone clown brooch (pictured) are some of the disturbingly genuine auctioned items saved for posterity here. Addicts can visit their daily site.

Johnny Hollow
Beautifully spooky, with riddles to solve. We'd tell you what it was all about if only we knew.

The Gobbler Motel and Supper Club
"Imagine the pitch to the investors: 'It's going to be a futuristic, state-of-the-art motel with every modern convenience from water beds to 8-tracks. The entire dining area will be covered in deep-pile pink and purple carpet. But wait — here's the best part. It will look like an abstract sculpture of a giant turkey. We'll bill it as a romantic getaway and call it The Gobbler!'"

Jesus Sports Figures
Figurines of Jesus (pictured) shooting hoops, on the soccer field, playing hockey, and skiing. Who knew He had such a passion for sports? Collect 'em all!

Mr. Picassohead
Create Picassoesque portraits as quickly as you can drag a nose. Even signing your name to the thing is weirdly satisfying.

Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie
Aluminum foil beanies keep the FBI from listening in on your brain. But, the website warns, "Sometimes, AFDBs will be sold on places like eBay. Do not purchase these pre-made AFDBs, even if the seller seems trustworthy. They may contain backdoors, pinholes, integrated psychotronic circuitry or other methods that actually promote mind control."

Eccentric Genius: Unconventional Contrivances and Machina Arcana
The website describes these inventions as from a "parallel universe where Leonardo Da Vinci, John Cleese and Jimmy Neutron spend every Tuesday night playing poker with Sherlock Holmes, and the Victorian era 'gentleman inventor' still toils diligently in his potting shed laboratory." Whatever. Mini catapults, guillotines, and, uh, other stuff for sale.

The Condiment Packet Museum
Catalogues ketchup, mustard, soy sauce, dairy creamer and just about anything vaguely edible in a packet. The rows of packets are oddly attractive tableaus.

Play against the house as one of three characters in this stylishly designed game. Love the Tony Orlando and Dawn-style music (at least for about 30 seconds).

Bee Cam
Really, if you're watching this, you a) need to find new work or b) have smoked a joint in the past hour and need to move from the computer to the TV now.
EMRE handbags and pet carriers, 347 5th [33rd/34th] Suite 803C 212.951.7269. Today thru 4/15, 10-6, leather handbags were $399, now $125. Clutches were $250, now $75. Cash only.

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